10:19 PM
Wow this pen sucks. I’m gonna switch to the pen your Dad have me for Christmas. Let’s see—much better. Unfortunatwly my handwriting will remain terrible. As will my spelling most likely.
You were born today around 6:00 PM. Your Abuela, Abuelo, and I were playing canasta in the hospital “library.” I say “library” because there were no books. We arrived through fog and rain—more like a spittle from the dark skies. We were told we weren’t going to be able to visit you for three hours, so Abuela and I went to the gift shop to buy the two card decks needed for canasta. She also bought flowers for your mom, which we ended up bringing home because we didn’t even know the room number when they told your dad we weren’t going to be able to visit until tomorrow. We stopped at Chipotle on the way home and your grandparents couldn’t get off their phones—so much texting.
I don’t know where to start in summarizing your pre-life—all the moments that led up to you, up to us. For now I will give you my most basic impressions:
Your mother is very smart.
Your father is very talkative.
They both love you very much already, which I suppose isn’t surprising.
Your abuula asks a lot of questions.
Your abuelo cries easily.
Let’s not talk about your extended family. I hope they influence you little.
I am a depressed spinster who’s currently looking for work while the world crumbles around us. I wish I had better news for you. Ugh! My handwriting! I hope you’ll be able to decipher this!
I’ve kept journals all my life wuth no expectations of people reading them. This is a new experience. Maybe this pen is also a problem.
How about this one? It’s not as smooth, which maybe will make my marks more intentional?
Anyway, back to you. Bastian, you are very small—under 4 lbs. Felix is slightly bigger, just over 4 lbs. You look like large potatoes. So small. Your mother’s hand looks gigantic compared to you in the picture they sent. According to your dad, you both entered the world wailing, which is appropriate considering things. What, you might ask, is going on in this cursed world?
Climate change. Another polar vortex hit while your grandparents were away on vacation, leaving me to care for the dogs and chickens. I’m sure the dogs will be delighted to meet you both.
War. In Ukraine and Gaza. The genocide in Gaza is particularly gruesome. The Palestinians are being starved.
Civil rights are disappearing. Conservatives have it out for women and LGBTQ+ people. Trump—looks like he’ll be reelected. To everyone’s horror.
Billionaires. They are ruining everything with their greed. People can barely pay their rent while their profits soar. Disgusting.
… There’s obviously more, but we’ll leave it at that for now. My hand is cramping anyway.
I’ll try writing more tomorrow morning when we head to the hospital to see you. xoxo